Thursday, August 2, 2018

Zomg, how long has it been?

Hidey ho! Jackie’s right foot here. Leik, totally couldn’t blog because Catholic. Also I had better tings to do like clip my toenails, pick my boogers, find my old cheeto bags to lick cheeto crumbs, find shit to slip in Mamma Dell’s drink to make her “sleep” and run from the law.

In case you didn’t know already, i have to sneak off to the marriot to steal wifi since bitch Dell won’t pay for inteernet. She such a bitch since jail. Lol

Now I know ya’ll think i am running from the law since i am a dirty fraudulator but hatters gonna hat.  I got in trouble for beast-il-aty. Otherwise known as “sexual intercourses with my dog”. Those doodie head cops can suck my balls (if i had balls) and took my dog. And the seven dead cats from my ground hole. Not to be mixed up with my stinky pinky hole. Lol, that always confuses me.

I tried hitchhiking out of this shithole and to possibly experience sex with a dood since i never atried that there but I was too butt ugly for the truckers. One tried it with a bag over my head but then he saw my third nipple and was all “I aint drunk enuf for this shit show”. What a jerk!

Anyhole, I decided being a lesbian pretending to be a flaming homo named Sam was more better since I don’t do a damn thing with my life cuz I don’t wanna.

So i am still in love (obsessed) with you know who. I am mad at you know who for meeting her, telling her the truth and then filing a protective restraining order against me. What a cockadoodie!

I still fantasize that if I keep my fake Sam persona online, you know who will get jealous and finally call me back. Hey, logic wins! Wait....

Newsflash! I have autocorrectall. Its benign but having a tube pushed up my poop hole for “medical reasons” was almost like sex so now I aint a virgin no more. Suck on that hatters! Bonus ALERT, the state paid for it! I get rewarded for being a lazy cuntbucket. On “disability “. This cuntry rocks, just like God. And stuff.

I am thinking of more betterer characters for my fake sam to hang with since the fake wife is sooooooo boring. Heres what im thinking: Kendra the c word, Zombie Jesus, Michael Jackson ( um, hes still alive duh) and Vivica Fox. Dayum she is a hot piece of chocolate.

My Sam can, you know, do the sex to all of them. Im a jenus, ill write ebooks , almost Jesus’d, almost  Kendra’d, totally Michael’d and the one who got away. I am brilliantly!

As per usual,


I AM WATCHING EWE

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