Based on Jackie Overton's post "GBR"
"Born in Nebraska we left when I was 3". Why doesn't this bitch make money on ebooks? Cuz the bitch writes like a 5 year old. Also: liar liar pants on fire
I'll make it better.
I was conceived in the back of a pick up truck. Mamma Dell doesn't like to talk 'bout that much however when she is a drinkin' the codeine, she'll tell me how her and my pa done did have sexual intercourse in the rusted out bed of a moonshiner's pick up truck. It was some sort of sin to be having sexual relations out of wedlock but Mamma was a bit of a whore. Kind of like how Judas was a bit of a traitor. I done did google that and I'm pretty shure it was Judas who tolded the Romanians that Jesus made fish out of wine. And so they had to crucify him and that is why we get wine at the Catholic instead of fish. Cuz Jesus. And God. Doesn't God just rock your socks off? he does mine! Lol
Anyhole, Mamma Dell soon found out that my pa did plant demon seed into her belly and so they had to have a shotgun wedding. It's where they fire shotguns to celebrate the wedding. Pa tried to run off to Texas to escape Crazy Mamma Dell (CMD) and her sinning ways but Mamma did track him down and decided to rent a greyhound to take her and me to Texas to find pa. That dog took it's sweet ass time getting us there. It was so long (that's what she said), Mamma Dell went and got herself another baby in her tummy on the way to Texas.
Once we arrived in the Texas and found pa, he did not want to let us in his house. He said Mamma was carrying a demon child of bastardity. To escape the clutches of Mamma, Pa did return to our little shack on crack nestled behind the sewage treatment plant in the Detroiot, Nebraska Wyoming.
I plan on returning to the Detroit, Nebraska Wymoning for a retreat and I'm going to take fake wife and fake twins with me. It's always healing when I return home. The smell of sewage really brings back memories Lol. Memories of people always avoiding me. Memories of that time I kidnapped that woman and she escaped. That time when she died and hit the electricks pole and I had no TV reception on the TV in house shed for a week. And I plan on crying in front of Alex and Heston. Cuz that's good parenting. Let them see me cry for Ryan....
Dear Ryan,
If you were alive today I would have you in my house shed. I would try to parental unit you. I would make sure I always had cheetos on the floor for you. I would let you cut heads from magazines of reality TV people and I would show you how to stick them onto red JELLO floor. I would also tell you why I think JELLO needs to be all upper case, cuz caps rule Lol
I would tell you all about that one time at band camp. I would help you build mega desk. I would never lay you out and fill your mouth with your mother's shit. I would tell you what you did last summer.
But you're not alive, are you?
You selfish twat. You left earth. You got to see the aliens and go into the sky. I hate you. Bastard!
Love,
SAM
I'm getting all Ramonational, give me a moment...talk amongst yourselves. I'll give you a subject, how many layers of fantasical is Barbra Streisand and why.
I'm going to take the fake twins to Mamma Dell's grave site when we get there. She ain't dead yet but the bitch can't live forever. Lol
So back to Ryan. I will let the twins know how much I wanted Ryan. How I wanted to caress him. How I wanted to tongue kiss him. How much it hurts me that I don't have him. Fake wife is real good about letting me not talk about it, it gets awkward in the bed when I am on her and shout "Oh Ryan!". Sometimes I take my dog for a "walk" to get the feelings of Ryan off me. I forget to breath sometimes and have to remind myself "breath in breath out". Yes, I am that fucking stupid. Lol
People make me nervous. I let the Lindz do handshaking. I can't because it's dirty and dirty girls go where? To the prayer closet. It just seems so dangerous to shake hands and talk at humans. Like what if they point and laugh at me? Again. Or sing that "CATFISH CATFISH, YOU'RE A FUCKING CATFISH". Again. It bothers me that so many people know about that Jackie Overton person of witch I'm not. At all. Of. Apposidly.
So I always wanted to go to Chicago because that's where they invented Cheetos. Orange. Crunchy. So good for you. Cheetos. Since I feel deeply connected to Chicago, I lie and tell people I live there. Lol. That will be our little secret. I ain't never been to Chicago but I seen a pichure show 'bout it once.
Another lie I keep telling is about SJC: complete bullshit and fake company that I pretend I own. But that's cuz I'm 50 shades of crazy.
Thanks for sticking by me so long reedors of my superior intelligent. That crazy glu really freakin works. Lol
Don't forget,
I AM ALWAYS WATCHING EWE
"Born in Nebraska we left when I was 3". Why doesn't this bitch make money on ebooks? Cuz the bitch writes like a 5 year old. Also: liar liar pants on fire
I'll make it better.
I was conceived in the back of a pick up truck. Mamma Dell doesn't like to talk 'bout that much however when she is a drinkin' the codeine, she'll tell me how her and my pa done did have sexual intercourse in the rusted out bed of a moonshiner's pick up truck. It was some sort of sin to be having sexual relations out of wedlock but Mamma was a bit of a whore. Kind of like how Judas was a bit of a traitor. I done did google that and I'm pretty shure it was Judas who tolded the Romanians that Jesus made fish out of wine. And so they had to crucify him and that is why we get wine at the Catholic instead of fish. Cuz Jesus. And God. Doesn't God just rock your socks off? he does mine! Lol
Anyhole, Mamma Dell soon found out that my pa did plant demon seed into her belly and so they had to have a shotgun wedding. It's where they fire shotguns to celebrate the wedding. Pa tried to run off to Texas to escape Crazy Mamma Dell (CMD) and her sinning ways but Mamma did track him down and decided to rent a greyhound to take her and me to Texas to find pa. That dog took it's sweet ass time getting us there. It was so long (that's what she said), Mamma Dell went and got herself another baby in her tummy on the way to Texas.
Once we arrived in the Texas and found pa, he did not want to let us in his house. He said Mamma was carrying a demon child of bastardity. To escape the clutches of Mamma, Pa did return to our little shack on crack nestled behind the sewage treatment plant in the Detroiot, Nebraska Wyoming.
I plan on returning to the Detroit, Nebraska Wymoning for a retreat and I'm going to take fake wife and fake twins with me. It's always healing when I return home. The smell of sewage really brings back memories Lol. Memories of people always avoiding me. Memories of that time I kidnapped that woman and she escaped. That time when she died and hit the electricks pole and I had no TV reception on the TV in house shed for a week. And I plan on crying in front of Alex and Heston. Cuz that's good parenting. Let them see me cry for Ryan....
Dear Ryan,
If you were alive today I would have you in my house shed. I would try to parental unit you. I would make sure I always had cheetos on the floor for you. I would let you cut heads from magazines of reality TV people and I would show you how to stick them onto red JELLO floor. I would also tell you why I think JELLO needs to be all upper case, cuz caps rule Lol
I would tell you all about that one time at band camp. I would help you build mega desk. I would never lay you out and fill your mouth with your mother's shit. I would tell you what you did last summer.
But you're not alive, are you?
You selfish twat. You left earth. You got to see the aliens and go into the sky. I hate you. Bastard!
Love,
SAM
I'm getting all Ramonational, give me a moment...talk amongst yourselves. I'll give you a subject, how many layers of fantasical is Barbra Streisand and why.
So back to Ryan. I will let the twins know how much I wanted Ryan. How I wanted to caress him. How I wanted to tongue kiss him. How much it hurts me that I don't have him. Fake wife is real good about letting me not talk about it, it gets awkward in the bed when I am on her and shout "Oh Ryan!". Sometimes I take my dog for a "walk" to get the feelings of Ryan off me. I forget to breath sometimes and have to remind myself "breath in breath out". Yes, I am that fucking stupid. Lol
People make me nervous. I let the Lindz do handshaking. I can't because it's dirty and dirty girls go where? To the prayer closet. It just seems so dangerous to shake hands and talk at humans. Like what if they point and laugh at me? Again. Or sing that "CATFISH CATFISH, YOU'RE A FUCKING CATFISH". Again. It bothers me that so many people know about that Jackie Overton person of witch I'm not. At all. Of. Apposidly.
So I always wanted to go to Chicago because that's where they invented Cheetos. Orange. Crunchy. So good for you. Cheetos. Since I feel deeply connected to Chicago, I lie and tell people I live there. Lol. That will be our little secret. I ain't never been to Chicago but I seen a pichure show 'bout it once.
Another lie I keep telling is about SJC: complete bullshit and fake company that I pretend I own. But that's cuz I'm 50 shades of crazy.
Thanks for sticking by me so long reedors of my superior intelligent. That crazy glu really freakin works. Lol
Don't forget,
I AM ALWAYS WATCHING EWE
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