Monday, May 22, 2017

I'm your backdoor man

Hey ho everybody , Sam here ya'll lol.

So I wasn't able to blog for a while because I made a purchase of something quite sizable.  Being rich and almost famous is boring.  Sure I have some fun telling all you readers that I married a Shyster but that story line is just so fucking lame.  The fake twins, also fucking lame.  Fake Catholic, yawns....I should have been fake Scientologist, now THAT'S a cult just asking for someone just like me.  Crazy.  Paranoid.  Stalkerish.  Yep.   Anyhole I just know ya'll are wondering what I purchased so I'll tell you what I purchased even though I am an extremely private person who doesn't share real photos, real facts or real anything with you, the reador of my superior intelligent.  I bought a rocket and went to space.  Yes really.  Anyone who calls me a liar is a troll so the trolls can go !@##$.  Wow, I really got upset there didn't I lol

So I went to the rocket store place where kachillionares like myself, the Sam, go to purchase such things.  There was a waiting list and I called the Lindz on her prepaid motorola phone to do something about that.  So she went to the store for kachillionares and told them if they didn't get my rocket, she was gonna show them her tits.  WOW, I never saw employees work that quick to ensure I had my rocket within minutes.  They sure are swell! Not a single human in that place wanted to see the Lindz's titties.  To tell you the truth, I wouldn't want to see them either.  Because I'm straight up Flaming Homosexual.  I'm so happy I picked a religion (the Catholic) that is totally ok with my homosexualism.  I think there's a feast day dedicated to us gays but I don't need a day to feast my gayness, I do that everyday!  Lol

So then I went to pilot school, not the fake pilot school I went to before for my pretend Cessna,  but rocket pilot school for Astronaut entrepreneurs like myself. While I was at pilot school there was a lovely man named Dick who taught us how to use the brakes on the rocket.  I liked his style.  I liked it a lot.  I asked him out for drinks after he commended me for being his very best student ever.   He said yes!

I was so nervous and afraid I was going to go number one in my panties so I decided to wear extra panties, you know, for layers.  I guess wearing my days of the week underwears all at the same time was bad for my circulation because my feet went numb so I took off the Monday and Tuesday panties in the eating establishment bathroom.  I exited the stall to go look in the mirror to make sure my daisy duke shorts didn't make my ass look too big (they did, my butt was the size of Texas) and guess who was standing there, go on, guess...It was Dick!  He told me he wasn't able to stay for dinner and I was crushed.  Like my heart got ripped from my body and was astampered on (yes it's a fucking work asshole) but he said he would totally make it up to me. Right there in the men's bathroom!  He rammed his rocket into myspace.  And gee his hair smelled terrific.  He said he was gonna call me but it's been 2 weeks and no call.  Probably cuz I don't have a phone lol, too poor!  I should ask the Lindz to steal one for me, that's how she gets hers.

So I graduated top of my class in Top Gun Astronaut Entrepreneurs school.  I was the only student in my class AND I had ass sex with the teacher so I was pretty much going to get that award.

The second I graduated I warmed up the rocket and shot my load into space.  It was fun with all the space stuff I saw like:
Clouds
Dark
Space
Stars
Worm holes
 Pillsbury dough boy
 And I had an excellent ground crew so it was a pretty good time.


Being a kachillionare, flaming homo, 6", Vegan Catholic who plays banjo really isn't that bad!

And now onto some of my untruths....so like member that time when I did this:

and I was all like "I ain't deleting this post ya'll cuz I'm not ascared"

I lied!

LOL ya'll

member, I am always watching EWE



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