Hey guyz, its me, Cooper Dooper. Sorry ya’ll for not bloggering for a while but I am in the gorgeous city of Paris. It’s in France ( for all those who don’t travel extensively). So I’m here with my pretend kids, Charleston Heston, Mimi, Alex Trebec, Peyton, George Glass, Cheeto and the 7 dwarves. I hired 700 nannies to entertain me. Lol
So we are all having fun except for my wife Sarah (Lawyer) because we are officially separated. Lol
My last post was all about Sara (Lawyer) having baby fever so it comes as no surprise that she not only wants a bunch of kids, she’s tired of family life. It’s like opposite of how I wrote that character! Gosh durnit, marriage is hard and stuff. So I did what any hetero guy would do, have a bubble bath, cry it out for hours, eat a jar of peanut butter and take another vacation! Its not like I am busy with anything like being a CEO SEO banjo vegan who flips crack houses. Amirite? Oh and let’s not forget that I own BOTH properties (boardwalk and park place)
So I need to blog about how happy I am in Paris and how heartbroken I am but seriously, Sarah (Lawyer) was keeping me down. She hardly had any hits on my blog posts when I used her as a tag. @#$&*, such frustrationals Lol. So as the Queen of the English would say “OFF WITH HER HEAD”. I had it stuffed and placed it on the mantle so the kids can kiss mommie dearest goodnight. It brings me comfort to have her droopy glassy eye stare at me. It’s like I won at life and she didn’t.
We fought constantly. It’s true. She was expecting, well, congical relations. And I was like “NO”. Me, Sam, is not real. So there is no “mr. Winky”if you catch my drift. No chi town. No boomer or bang bang. No McNasty. No Park Place. No under the Boardwalk. I can’t even spank the monkey. So being that all of this is fake, Sara (Lawyer) got preggers ( I think I am the father), either miscarried or had a baby but it was deaded somehow. I can’t keep track of the lies. Anyhole, it’s name is Talon.
So I am doing Daddy things with the kids like pitching in to help with dinner. I usually chip in $5.00. I take the kids out to see Paris France tourist things. We go to the painting place where kids love to go. Also Notre Dame because Catholic. Apparently there’s another kid I have called Peas. She was named after Vegan food. It’s a vegetable. Just like me Lol
So I am off to Norway for a 4 day vacation because everyone knows, Norway is small and can be seen and done in just 4 days. There’s absolutely no history of Norway since it’s a new island that popped up suddenly. I don’t plan to return to the states anytime soon. The boys are geeze Lol, something else. You should hear them plot “ you get the knife” “no you do it” “ someone needs to stab that thing that has us hostage before she kills us all”, I feel so fat chasing them to their cages, I am always out of breath.
So I want to thank you all for your emails and likes and stuff. I love you all. No I don’t. I only love Meri. The one who got away. I still have her cage ready in case she changes her mind. Lol
Cooper out
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