I gave birth today! To a chia pet. It fell out of my "down there" area. My special place. The area that makes wee wee and where I put peanut butter. For my dog.
I name my baby The Bendz. After my friend of which I blogged about some time ago yesterday or the yesterday before that. I seem to have misplaced that character when he was poor. In France.Where I go sometimes. On my Concord. Maybe he got lost there? Maybe he "fell" into a hole and hit his head and bled to death. And then somehow got buryed by some kind person who saw a dead Bendz and helped by doing that. For him. There. At France.
So I'm hear in Vegas wear I grew up in and have lived all my life. And let me tell you something. I suck at poker. Big Time. Like I do not have a doller left. I sold Mamma Dell to get some money for more poker but they wouldn't take her back when she wandered away.
I am more better at playing the robots. They are on all the time at Casino but they don't talk at all. Lol
Being batshit crazy is really really really really hard.
And stuff
I have owned a casstle castile castil house in the Vegas which I call Condo because I am too fucking ignorant to know any better that is were my boy trips are were we all hang out and get into hot tub and talk about our feelings. You know, normal boy stuff. Wild and crazy guys! Lol Sometimes one of A. Friends will drop the "F" bomb. Which I don't.
So no girls allowed at Condo. In the Vegas. Due to :
Men do not curse in front of wormens.
So I loan the house out to my friends. Since I am kichillionare CEO Banjo playing Single Vegan catholic. I trust them to not open my 20 year old can of spagetti os. They are just a swell bunch of guys.
And I do land scapering in the back of the condomonium where I plant things like bones. Sometimes innards. Its pieceful there. And then I sold the house (huh?) and now instead moved the party from my old condimentium to a nother house which is a rental 2 blocks away. From the condo. From which I used to live. AT.
It Used to be a crack den and there are some left over hookers there. So that is where I live now. Because living in a Conto did not suit my lifestyle of Single Vegan Catholic GUY which I am. Currently.
The cheeseburgers hear in Vegas of Viva are great! I usually eat 7 a day at second breakfast. But not for first lunch. First lunch is corned beef. Second lunch is pasta. First dinner is can of dudley moore. Second dinner is can of Demi Moore. She tastes terrific. And her hair is more pretty than Dudley's. Duh.
I hired a kid a few months ago named Mark to eat the grass out back. He is tied up to the fence rite now. We are going to make a office so we can do flipping of houses and make a nother Kachillion dollers. Its so easy to flip. first buy a crack den. Kill the hookers. Eat the grass. Paint a wall and BOOM! You is fucking rich bitch.
Papa, can you hear me?
Papa, can you see me?
Papa can you find me in the night?
Bloody corpse staggering toward me....
Another squeeze of the trigger should keep you down.
So i am going to rite a book about my idears. About doing condum flipping. Since I am so good at it. I will put it for sale and link it every where like spam in my can. Junk in my trunk. Sinse I already told you readers about how I do it, It can be like my special present for you. My loyal minions. YOU SMELL TERRIFIC.
I and Mark the kid are moving toward Casino inversterings. As I already own Boardwalk and Park Place. Mark is a good kid. He has 2 Moms. And 4 Dads. And a partridge in a pear tree.
He is a J.E.W. Where he wears a hat. And got his penis cut off at a briskening. Of which I was invited. That party was real good. I met Madonna. There at the place of party. And then we had jello. J E L L O. Once Bill Cosby tried to have ear sex with me. When I was a boy. But now I am man. Here me rawr. I no that Mark will do good job on monopoly while I am away at Chicago. The land of swiss cheese. I like cheese. Moo.
I have construction paper companys. 12 of them. Their doing good too. And we are always booked up. No rooms left at the inn. 3 wise men staggered by to praze me. The Jesus. The God. The Oz.
So lets do a tally of all that I am
Killer of Father
Killer of Finance
Killer of unborn son
Non convicted killer of missing friend, The Bendz
Attempted to kill brother
But succeeded on 2nd try
Sold Mother
Experct at writting books about flipping condums
Owner of a plain
Have 2 Houses in Utah
Own 12 construction paper companys
Own robots in Casino (might own Casino too?)
Own a crack den in Vegas
but not really since it's a rental but I'm flipping it anyway
Killer of a few crack whores
Have a friend who got his Mr. Winky cut off
Own Board Walk
Own Park Place
Father of monkey named Alex
Killed twin monkey named Heston
CEO
Banjo player
Vegan
Single
Catholic
Son of God
Son of Christ
Son of Sam
Sam I am
Zorro
Oz
Christ
God
Character development 101. You're welcome.
Drops the Mike.
So I'm hear in Vegas wear I grew up in and have lived all my life. And let me tell you something. I suck at poker. Big Time. Like I do not have a doller left. I sold Mamma Dell to get some money for more poker but they wouldn't take her back when she wandered away.
I am more better at playing the robots. They are on all the time at Casino but they don't talk at all. Lol
Being batshit crazy is really really really really hard.
And stuff
So no girls allowed at Condo. In the Vegas. Due to :
Men do not curse in front of wormens.
So I loan the house out to my friends. Since I am kichillionare CEO Banjo playing Single Vegan catholic. I trust them to not open my 20 year old can of spagetti os. They are just a swell bunch of guys.
And I do land scapering in the back of the condomonium where I plant things like bones. Sometimes innards. Its pieceful there. And then I sold the house (huh?) and now instead moved the party from my old condimentium to a nother house which is a rental 2 blocks away. From the condo. From which I used to live. AT.
It Used to be a crack den and there are some left over hookers there. So that is where I live now. Because living in a Conto did not suit my lifestyle of Single Vegan Catholic GUY which I am. Currently.
The cheeseburgers hear in Vegas of Viva are great! I usually eat 7 a day at second breakfast. But not for first lunch. First lunch is corned beef. Second lunch is pasta. First dinner is can of dudley moore. Second dinner is can of Demi Moore. She tastes terrific. And her hair is more pretty than Dudley's. Duh.
I hired a kid a few months ago named Mark to eat the grass out back. He is tied up to the fence rite now. We are going to make a office so we can do flipping of houses and make a nother Kachillion dollers. Its so easy to flip. first buy a crack den. Kill the hookers. Eat the grass. Paint a wall and BOOM! You is fucking rich bitch.
Papa, can you hear me?
Papa, can you see me?
Papa can you find me in the night?
Bloody corpse staggering toward me....
Another squeeze of the trigger should keep you down.
So i am going to rite a book about my idears. About doing condum flipping. Since I am so good at it. I will put it for sale and link it every where like spam in my can. Junk in my trunk. Sinse I already told you readers about how I do it, It can be like my special present for you. My loyal minions. YOU SMELL TERRIFIC.
I and Mark the kid are moving toward Casino inversterings. As I already own Boardwalk and Park Place. Mark is a good kid. He has 2 Moms. And 4 Dads. And a partridge in a pear tree.
He is a J.E.W. Where he wears a hat. And got his penis cut off at a briskening. Of which I was invited. That party was real good. I met Madonna. There at the place of party. And then we had jello. J E L L O. Once Bill Cosby tried to have ear sex with me. When I was a boy. But now I am man. Here me rawr. I no that Mark will do good job on monopoly while I am away at Chicago. The land of swiss cheese. I like cheese. Moo.
I have construction paper companys. 12 of them. Their doing good too. And we are always booked up. No rooms left at the inn. 3 wise men staggered by to praze me. The Jesus. The God. The Oz.
So lets do a tally of all that I am
Killer of Father
Killer of Finance
Killer of unborn son
Non convicted killer of missing friend, The Bendz
Attempted to kill brother
But succeeded on 2nd try
Sold Mother
Experct at writting books about flipping condums
Owner of a plain
Have 2 Houses in Utah
Own 12 construction paper companys
Own robots in Casino (might own Casino too?)
Own a crack den in Vegas
but not really since it's a rental but I'm flipping it anyway
Killer of a few crack whores
Have a friend who got his Mr. Winky cut off
Own Board Walk
Own Park Place
Father of monkey named Alex
Killed twin monkey named Heston
CEO
Banjo player
Vegan
Single
Catholic
Son of God
Son of Christ
Son of Sam
Sam I am
Zorro
Oz
Christ
God
Character development 101. You're welcome.
Drops the Mike.
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